Is This Love??

Rose petals all around me as I reach for the last red rose. I go through the reasons why he loves and doesn't love me. Its my last chance to figure it out. As i stand up, the rose petals fall from my body onto the floor. I walk around and begin again.

He loves me.
The way I sit up straight, listen to every word he says, and the way i 
laugh at every joke he tells.

He doesn't love me.
The way I talk with food in my mouth, lick the white cheddar of my 
fingers after eating a bag of popcorn, or the way I laugh and cry when 
watching a chick flick.

He loves me.
When I model the clothes in Saks Fifth Avenue and when I watch where I'm going so I don't bump into him.

He doesn't love me.
When I take things to seriously, take long showers, or put others 
before myself.

He loves me.
The way I follow him everywhere, "together forever" is what he says.

He doesn't love me.
When I run out and spin in the rain, when I cause a scene in a store, 
when I wear red, or when I'm truly being me.

As the last petal falls to the floor. I wonder, " Do I love him?" 
that's the question I should have asked myself along time ago.

Then I realize, he had this image in his head of a perfect 
girl. He knew from the start that it wasn't me, but he thought that i would change myself for him. I lost myself, thinking that a  person could love me for who I really am. Man, I was so stupid. I blinded myself thinking that I was in love, but really I was only happy that someone 
would pay that much attention to me.